Through the Pain
by Frost687
Summary: I feel so lonely. They had all left me, walked away without a second thought. I can still remember seeing their backs as they abandoned me so easily. I had to carry on, but the pain was growing. Even so, I had to live on. I didn't want to continue this meaningless life. But I just had to move on from the past. Of course, things would be better if I could actually ignore the pain.


**Oh dear. I can't believe I wrote this. Hello everyone! This is Frost687, with my new penname, new stories, and new… well, everything! As I always say, what better starter story than an angst story? Actually, I don't say that. This story popped into my head and would not leave me alone! There are so many plot bunnies in my head, there're probably multiplying like real bunnies.**

**By the way, I did a bit of research about the geographic regions of the world. Thailand and Vietnam are actually part of Southeast Asia and not East Asia. Also, I know Mongolia is part of East Asia. I just didn't include him/her because of two reasons: Mongolia is not an official character, and is not one of China's siblings. I did include North Korea, because, like many other people, I view North Korea as South Korea's twin and China is one of the few people he will talk to. If you want to good representation of North in my opinion, go to A.R.C. Fangirl 0w0v's story 'Gege's a Jiejie'. It's an amazing Iggychu story, and go to chapter 13 if you don't like Iggychu**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Angst**

**Characters: China**

**Summary: I feel so lonely. They had all left me, walked away without a second thought. I can still remember seeing their backs as they abandoned me so easily. I had to carry on, but the pain was growing. Nevertheless, I had to live on. I didn't want to continue this meaningless life. But I just had to move on from the past. Of course, things would be better if I could actually ignore the everlasting pain.**

* * *

**Through the Pain**

The world appeared as a blur to China. Both physically and mentally. When his eyelids slowly slid open, he sighed and climbed out of his bed. The silk sheets wrapped around his body untangled and fell to the floor, and then were placed back on the bed by the sleepy nation. China sighed again as he prepared for yet another day of his 4000-year-and-counting life. After four millennia of existence, he felt that days slipped by quickly, yet somehow slowly. Every day was like a fleeting second to him, yet each minute ticked by in torturous silence to him.

His life was 4000 years. And it was still going on. Time trickled by like water in a river; it flowed so quickly through his mind. One minute, it was 1945 and he watched silently, as the two atomic bombs hit Japan in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Another minute, it was 2001 and he was being admitted into the World Trade Organization. He wasn't just 250 like America, or even a thousand years old like England. He was even twice the age of the Italy twins, both living at about two millennia. What is a single day in his 4000-year life worth?

Of course, there was always a flip side to one reasoning. The many wars he had witnessed and the number of nations and empires he had seen fallen was quite astonishing. The screams of the ancient countries had echoed in his ears, and he was there to see so many 'important' events. From 79 AD, when Pompeii was completely destroyed by Mount Vesuvius, to 1929, when the stock market crashed and marked the beginning of The Great Depression. His life dragged on, forcing him to recall and remember every single little detail of all the famines and epidemics and wars and destruction.

China stretched out his arms and legs, and hearing several cracks as he tilted his head from left to right. His ancient bones and joints creaked quietly in his head as he trudged toward the bathroom door. The nation couldn't help but breath out another sigh, permeated with the burden of the abandonment, emptiness, desertion, and pain of his whole life.

The sound of running water trickling into the sink drain echoed very slightly off the bathroom walls. China splashed his face with some ice-cold water, and then stared into the mirror. Silky black hair, matting together slightly because of the water. Porcelain skin, miraculously unblemished by battle scars. Brown, almost amber like eyes framed by long feminine eyelashes. Most people would say he looked like a girl; China would say he looked defeated.

* * *

"Get back here, you bloody frog!"

"I would never listen to you. Listen England, you're the black sheep of Europe!"

"Yo Japan! My boss wants some more shipments of those cool video games your place always makes. So let's make a deal; by the way, I won't take no for an answer."

"D-don't worry, America-san. I will speed up production of the games."

"Finland, you would like to become one with Mother Russia, da?"

"D'n't touch m' wife."

"But I'm not your wife!"

"Germany, Germany! Can we have pasta after the meeting?"

"Italia, you have to pay attention at meetings!"

China barely held back a face palm as he absentmindedly drew on a notepad with a ballpoint pen. Honestly, almost all world meetings went in this path. In fact, the only way any countries could be productive at any meetings would be if small groups of nations arranged conferences, with their bosses present as well. Month after month, a world meeting would be held, and month after month, shit would throw down.

Just to China's luck, the countries would be assigned seats based on their geographical location. America, Canada, and Mexico were all grouped as North America, sitting near the Nordics (Denmark, Iceland, Norway, Sweden, Finland) and Oceania (Australia, New Zealand, and about 20 other countries). There was also West Europe, Central Europe, Eastern Europe, Mediterranean Europe, Africa, Northern Asia, Western Asia, etc.

Of course, that left China in East Asia with most of his siblings. He was sitting near Hong Kong, Macau, Japan, North Korea, South Korea, and Taiwan. What's more, Vietnam and Thailand were just a few seats away with the rest of Southeast Asia.

His heart almost literally clenched in pain. It might have simply been the result of the industrial pollution in his country, but China still felt the same pain and nostalgia when he glanced their way.

* * *

China sighed once again as he slumped down on the couch. His painful memories echoed throughout his mind every single day. His family leaving him, one by one. Everyone forgetting about him as time carried on. His body cried out in pain constantly, and so did his soul.

The nation instinctively rubbed his eyes, which had started getting itchy because of the air pollution in his country. Feeling a bit dried out, China also grabbed a bottle of water and some moisturizer from the coffee table. Despite the "Green Wall of China" project in his country progressing, desertification still continued drying out his skin and dehydrating him. He quickly gulped down half of the water in the bottle and then slathered some moisturizer on his arms and legs.

"Aiya, another day gone." Honestly, China wished he didn't have to see yet another day of this world. Honestly, he was counting down the days until his nation would finally fall, and he would finally die. Frankly, what did China have to live for, anyways? His siblings rarely ever spoke to him unless the conversation involved trade or money. Every one he cared for had just up and left him. Why couldn't he just end it now?

China's head shot up at that thought, but then he leaned back in the couch again. There was nothing he had to live for. It was pretty obvious to the other countries, right? Another personification would take his place if he died. Hong Kong could handle everything well; he didn't think anyone else would notice. However, through all that pain, that loneliness, he remembered one thing.

He was China. He would stand strong by himself. China couldn't fall to such a simple thing as a thought or two. It was just like walking barefoot through a thick bed of thorns. Sure, there is pain from doing such a thing, but you just had to tough it up and continue walking. That was right, wasn't it? Yeah. China would just ignore this pain he always felt.

Of course, it would be better if he could actually forget the pain entirely.

* * *

**You know, this could be considered a 'happy' ending, depending on your philosophy. China is moving past the pain, which is good. However, he's ignoring the fact that he truly wants family and just ignoring the warnings, so that's kind of sad and depressing. It's open for interpretation.**


End file.
